


Endings and Beginnings (Sanders Sides)

by Randomhowlter



Series: Sanders Sides Microfics [11]
Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-13
Updated: 2018-01-13
Packaged: 2019-03-04 04:17:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13356327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Randomhowlter/pseuds/Randomhowlter
Summary: Some people don't get another soulmate when their first one dies.  Some do...





	Endings and Beginnings (Sanders Sides)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [theginger607](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theginger607/gifts).



> CW: suicidal thoughts; mentions of death

Soulmate.  
  
That was an interesting word.  
  
It meant someone that was pre-destined for you, in every sense.  
  
Words inscribed into your skin before you are even born prove this.  
  
Words...the first words you would ever hear your soulmate utter to you.  
  
It is as physical a fact as any part of prenatal development.  
  
Except...it wasn’t limited to prenatal development.  
  
Sometimes...you lost your soulmate. People die. It happens. But if someone is pre-destined for you, what then?  
  
You get a new soulmate. Or you don’t. Some people do and some people don’t. It was just a fact of the universe.  
  
But Logan could not fathom why, of all people, he was one of the ones who felt a tingling on his arm as his cells changed.  
  
Why right after the funeral? He felt tears stinging his eyes, but he didn’t want to cry anymore. He was still standing at the grave, staring at the fresh dirt. He sighed heavily.  
  
“What do I do, Patton? I don’t want to look…” he choked up, “I-I don’t want this to become real…”  
  
As if in answer, his sleeve button--which had been loose all evening--popped off. He tried to tell himself it was a coincidence, but maybe...maybe the same being who was in charge of the soulmates was letting Patton give him one last message.  
  
He smiled softly at the thought, rolling up his sleeve to read the new words. “I buried my soulmate today…”  
  
Logan swallowed thickly, looking up at the sky, then down at the grave. He knew he and his new soulmate would have much to work through together. Then again, he had no idea at what point in his life he would meet them.  
  
He straightened, preparing for the walk home. He kissed his fingers, placing them on the gravestone one more time. “I’ll always love you, Patton. Thank you for everything. I’ll be back tomorrow…”  
  
With that, he walked away.  
  
Logan didn’t go straight home. Even though the darkness was gathering, he wandered the park in which the cemetery was located. It was by the sea. Patton loved the beach. He loved seeing the children playing and having fun. He had wanted kids of his own someday. Logan let the tears fall freely, not caring who saw.  
  
Eventually he came by the bridge that crossed the harbor. He walked across it slowly, staring out at the water, watching the sun set. When he got to the middle, he noticed a man standing there, crying and staring out at the water. He was leaning on the railing, leaning out, almost as if…  
  
Logan stopped beside the man, saying nothing. The stranger took a deep breath, not looking at him. “I buried my soulmate today…”  
  
Logan stiffened, his breath caught in his throat. “I-I did too. He’s buried in the Mercy Cemetery right here.”  
  
He noticed the stranger tensing up. “Mine too…” he whispered softly. He started shaking. “And here we are…”  
  
“Here we are,” Logan agreed quietly. He wondered if the man had seen the new words on his arm. Logan almost hadn’t checked them himself, so he wouldn’t blame the other man if he hadn’t.  
  
But then the stranger, pulled up his sleeve, holding his arm out to Logan. “I don’t know if you checked yours. I almost didn’t. But I checked it. I felt guilty as hell, but I checked it.” Fresh tears were pouring down his face.  
  
Logan didn’t even look at the man’s arm. “I know,” he whispered simply.  
  
The other man continued. “I...I almost jumped, you know? What else is there to do if you lose your soulmate? I was so close, and then I felt it. I almost did it anyway, but I couldn’t. I froze. I froze and I stared at the water for hours before checking. And then I really couldn’t do it, because I somehow knew that whoever you had buried was your soulmate…I can’t even bear losing one soulmate, I wasn’t going to be the one to make you lose two.”  
  
Logan stayed silent for several moments. “I’m glad you didn’t.” The other man smiled weakly at him. Logan squeezed his shoulder. “I know we’re both grieving. We don’t have to start this now if you don’t want to.” He handed him a small card. “Here’s my number, when you feel ready.”  
  
The man took it, reading the name on it. He nodded. “Thank you,” he said thickly. Logan began to walk away, but was stopped. “Logan?” He turned. “I’m Roman.”  
  
Logan nodded, smiling softly. “A lovely name.”  
  
*********************  
  
Later that night, Logan was lying in his bed. He felt cold without Patton laying beside him. He stared at the ceiling, unable to sleep.  
  
He wasn’t surprised when his phone rang. He answered instantly. “Hello?”  
  
He heard a shaky breath on the other end of the line. “L-Logan?”  
  
“Hello, Roman.” He didn’t bother asking if Roman was alright. Neither of them were.  
  
“C-Can I come see you? I...I don’t want to be alone.”  
  
“Of course.” Logan told him his apartment address. Before he hung up, he said. “Roman? Bring some pictures of your first soulmate. I have an idea.” Roman gave a choked affirmative and hung up.  
  
Logan stood, walking to the kitchen. He started some coffee, though he knew he wouldn’t be able to really taste it.  
  
He pulled out a picture album that Patton had insisted they make together. Logan had been all too hesitant at the time, but now he nearly sobbed in gratefulness. He looked through the pictures while he waited for the coffee.  
  
He sighed. “Am I doing the right thing Patton? Am I moving on too quickly? I feel ashamed...I know it’s illogical because it’s not in my control...but I don’t want to forget you.” He cried silently.  
  
The wind blew in through an open window, nudging him gently, almost encouragingly. He could have sworn he smelled Patton’s cologne. And then it was gone.  
  
And that was when the doorbell rang. He gathered the photos before moving to answer the door. Logan opened it to see Roman standing with puffy eyes and a photo album. He stood aside to let him in, leading him to the couch in the living room.  
  
Roman sat down, promptly opening his photo album, Logan sitting beside him and opening his.  
  
Roman smiled, pointing to a picture of him and his first soulmate at the planetarium. “I often had to drag Virgil everywhere, but not here. Virgil loved the planetarium. He adored the stars, he loved the blurred edges they gave him, how he was able to fade into darkness as he looked at them.”  
  
Logan smiled. “I love the stars, too. I’m sure we would have been wonderful friends.” He flipped through his own photo album, settling on one of Patton surrounded by animals at his clinic. “Patton was a vet. He absolutely loved animals…” He pointed to another picture of Patton holding a puppy in front of several children. “He taught kids about rescues and how they rehabilitate animals. He loved kids, too...He wanted to have children someday.” Logan teared up again.  
  
The rest of the night passed as they relived and exchanged memories with each other of Patton and Virgil. Eventually, they tired themselves out, their still-full cups of coffee now cold. Roman leaned, fatigued, against Logan. “Logan?” he whispered as he started falling asleep.  
  
“Hm?” Logan hummed, also exhausted.  
  
“Do you think Patton and Virgil are looking after each other in heaven?”  
  
Logan blinked awake, staring at all of the pictures spread out before them. He somehow knew Patton and Virgil would have adored each other. “Yes…I really do.”  
  
“Do you think...do you think they’d be alright with the fact that we have new soulmates?”  
  
“I think Patton will probably throw a rock at me from heaven if I don’t let myself be happy again,” he laughed softly.  
  
Roman laughed as well, “Virgil definitely would, too.”  
  
They fell asleep not long after, and Logan couldn’t help thinking about how lovely Roman’s laugh was, and how much Patton would have loved him.  
  
They knew it would take them some time to move into a relationship. But they were hopeful. And they knew Patton and Virgil would wait patiently for them.


End file.
